Years ago, a woman who motivated me a lot was talking about hitting ‘The Big 4’ in a woman-only talk. I quietly wondered what was she talking about. I thought she anyway had an amazing English vocabulary; this might mean something. A few minutes later, I thought I was ignorant about the new IT Company, a Restaurant or a Pub in Bangalore. So I ignored it for a minute and concentrated on the next things in her talk. Then, she went on talking about how she has built a beautiful personal life apart from being a Director at an IT-MNC.
When she finally mentioned at that age how her priorities were changing I figured out she was aging gracefully at 40 and that was about hitting Big 4. Undoubtedly, I was always awe-inspired by the way she delivered things. And she is an amazing woman leader.
At 28, a man once told me you are the senior-most among the girls yet to be married on my list. Supposedly, he was a matrimony broker. That particular day I told my brother, this man is not welcome in our house anymore. But as days passed I only laughed at the way he pursued age as a primary factor. Nonetheless, I thought at 28 I was living the most beautiful life ever. Because, I could go on a foreign trip on my own without much hassle. Also, I was happy and independent.
Still, some factors were funny. Like – when someone said, do not put on any weight, you look dull why don’t you see a Dermatologist? What’s with your marriage plan? Are you seeing someone? Do you even want to get married? Have you visited any astrologer yet? Did your mother visit at least? Your brother is a poor thing!
When someone said I looked dull, I wondered, am I not attractive anymore? Attractive enough to entice the future husband? As if this was on my to-do list. Also, people spoke about my reproductive age, and this may be considered as Godsend, but whatever. For, someone asked if I was doing Yoga to look thin and younger, I asked them do you know something like Migraine? This made my journey, even funnier when I made it to Big 3.
At the Big 3, even the dating or matrimony sites would have separate sections for women over 30 or turning 30. I was lucky, I didn’t have to register there. Oh well, the irony is my brother built a matrimonial website for the community on the verge of finding a groom for me. Who else’s family did this? Anyone more embarrassed than me, please raise your hands. One thing less a burden on my mind was having met my now husband at the time of turning 30.
Also, while turning 30, the “Underachiever” in professional life does hurt real bad. You need to still look/act young and fight for the next role. You also try to cover those dark circles and blemishes, to show how enthusiastic you are in and about life. By most of the Indian parents’ standard, you are supposed to be a team lead, and above if you are not then you are a lazy and useless fellow. The mobile phone in your hand is the reason for it. Throw it for God’s sake, and then life will get better as per Indian Mother.
Oh, what else? Well, most of the people I know are already doing great in their Career.
And now what? As it happens, show the world how beautiful is your new life. Also, how colorful everything in it is. Apparently, if you don’t show PDA on Social Media you are unhappy in life as per the societal norms. Does that matter? Yes, your mother is watching all your friends on Social Media. She knows who is celebrating which anniversary, and who is celebrating their kid’s birthday.
Do you know? In fact, in the current generation what does displaying a family portrait mean? A happy family or the camera quality of your latest mobile phone? Either case, once a while even I put up a picture saying I am very much alive and kicking.
In my case, the same relatives who earlier spoke of my weight now say, you are anyway married why don’t you put on some weight? Hey even after marriage you look the same, why don’t you eat well? Are you even happy in the new life? My house-help is no less, she told me today, don’t trouble your MIL, everything should happen at the right age. Actually I looked around to figure out who is the Boss here? Oh yes, I know the Godsend person that I am, and I walked out of the kitchen. Things are only as serious as you pursue them.
Do you know how the world stereotypes when you are turning 30? Do you even know what the web says about “woman turning 30”? Take a look – “Health Issues Every Woman Over 30 Should Start Looking Out For”, “Things to Stop Saying to Women Over 30”, “What Online Dating Is Like For Single Women Over 30”, “Why is it so difficult for a woman over 30 to find a guy”, “How life for a typical 30-year-old woman has changed over.” These are all very disturbing and equally hilarious.
The world around us also changes. The girl who called me Akka (sister) on a particular day when I was wearing a hoodie called me aunty after 2 days because my nuptial chain was visible.
So is it hard to mature gracefully at 30? I think it is beautiful than ever. For instance, happiness, success, and prosperity come one by one with time. Life seems to be challenging rather in a beautiful way. You no longer ask your mother to bring the food super quick, instead you understand her. You are preparing and serving the family now. As it happens, signs of a mature person. You don’t behave like a woke-person who says, why should women do everything?
Is there something called as women empowerment? Instead, you find happiness in all the tiny things tied up with your family. It’s beautiful, you just need to realize it. It seems to me, the definition of women empowerment is not what is seen on social media or 4 more shots.
How things have changed, I no longer say ‘Could you please show me extra small or small in this?’ rather the comfy clothes are in, and the cute or skimpy ones are out. Pajamas are life. Food has more cheese in it, and it is ok.
Also, we are no longer under the constant monitoring of parents; we aren’t under the pressure to check the price before buying, we also admit to our parents we could have been suckers without their constant surveillance. Notably, at this age, we are wiser and more mature. We know whom to value and who not. At least I have figured out to handle all the idiots I encounter in my life. I nod my head in unison to an idiot and do things as I please later.
I recently let a whimsical fool have a moment of triumph with a fineness, without creating an awkward situation. It is about time to realize, even if we win a rat race, we will still be a rat.
“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”-Mark Twain
In fact I am now pleased with a me-time over a movie or shopping. In reality, I prefer to go to calm dinner nights over a noisy club/pub. Notably, I enjoy calls with friends and family over dramatically pictured daily soaps. 9 to 6 and only as much as possible are new top 2 things on my mind. Even though it is about taking back seats in various situations, but it is the most fun phase of life. It is cool being present in every phase of life as long as we enjoy it.
Firstly, do not lose the self-earned astuteness over someone’s foolish remark. Secondly, Turning 30 or 40 or even 50 is just one step towards another glorious decade of celebration. And then, If nobody told you this today, you are a beautiful soul, celebrate your life. Finally, be you, you are wonderful.